What makes me really happy?

As I sit here pondering the content of this post, I can't help but laugh at myself. Only two weeks ago I thought I didn't need money to make me happy whereas you now find me pretty fed up with constantly checking my purse and bank account as well as the avoidance of supermarkets (or anywhere else that might tempt me to go 'off-list' and leave me with a sharp intake of breath at the checkout), out-of-fashion threadbare clothes and a very basic skincare routine.

The internal wranglings of the working mother continue ... I could work and have more money but then I would have to leave Scarlett more and that would hurt. When I am at work I am pretty happy as long as what I am doing is worthwhile and consuming but I am desparately angry when I am treated badly or messed about as all I can think is "I have left Scarlett for this!" I am not sure I could be a proper stay-at-home Mum but then I am so envious of those that are. I am not sure I could be a full-time working Mum but then I go through one of my phases of craving fancy facecreams and Top Shop clothes and the cycle continues .....

Today has been a big day for Scarlett. Firstly, I gave into family pressure and put a clip in her hair. Secondly she had her MMR vaccination. Thirdly I let the nurse give her a chocolate button - it's all downhill from here.

Finally she looked me in the eyes when we were finishing her bath and said 'ma ma ma ma' for the first time.

Now I know that all the money in the world couldn't buy anything as great as that feeling.


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