Dealing with difficult thoughts
During the last twelve months, I have had three bombshells delivered. Each one of them has been life-changing, dramatic and terribly upsetting. I have also had two incidents that have been pretty stressful. But I have survived, and stayed (relatively) sane.
I find this amazing, particularly as I previously had no concept of my own resilience.
I am a thinker - perhaps an over-thinker - I look to understand and to plan a recovery. I put myself under immense pressure to be OK. It is not always easy, there are times when my mind is full of paranoid thoughts, or anger, sometimes I feel a victim to these events and at other times I daydream arguments with the perpetrators (where there is one).
Here are the four things that have helped me hold it together and calm my mind:
a) Addressing each bombshell with compassion, patience and tolerance. Compassion for those involved (and myself), patience and tolerance towards the situation.
b) Asking myself "if this was your last day on earth, would you want to have spent your time worrying about something you can't change?"
c) Distracting myself by thinking of something that I appreciate or that is beautiful. Not always easy when I am in the car driving along boring roads on a grey Winter's day but there is usually something I can focus on.
d) If all else fails I go for a run, do some yoga or drink a large glass of red wine.
The Art of Happiness - The Dalai Lama
Get Some Headspace
Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert